"The Institution of Marriage"

 

I was recently watching one of my favorite westerns starring one of the most popular actors that have graced the motion picture screens. He has been one of my all-time favorite actors for as long as I can remember. However, the heroic roles he plays in Hollywood and the character he possesses in real life are quite the contrary.

Now 90 years old his family status goes something like this,  married twice with numerous live-ins and lovers. It is not known how many children he really has as the actual number has never been released. It is known that he has at least 8 children by 6 different women, none of which were his wives.

One might say, "well, that's Hollywood". However, in our everyday Southern country life, who among us can say that somewhere in our family or friends, the Institution of Marriage has not been honored? Even in the scope of my lifetime the value of Marriage has declined greatly. Our understanding of its purpose, its value, and its effect on our society goes without much thought. The idea of simply finding a partner and living together with the understanding if all things go well, marriage might find its way sometime in the future, has replaced the idea of traditional Marriage. Thus the value and purpose of Marriage are uprooted and laid aside.

After all, the try before you buy attitude does sound reasonable. The commitment that Marriage demands are very profound, it only makes sense to try it on a trial basis and be really sure before you enter into such a contract. This approach has even found its way into the thinking of many who would profess to have faith in Christ. Professing Christians who consider such reasoning, obviously never consider Paul's statement concerning the Church and Marriage. (Eph 5:31  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Eph 5:32  This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.) 

This relationship between a man and his wife is compared in scripture to the union of Christ and His church. Consider the aspect of this thinking in such a context, Christ saving us on a trial period to see if it was going to work out ok before really committing Himself to save us. Really! How would that work out for us?

The value and esteem of Marriage have always been held high in scripture. The Rev. H. H. Norris preaching on Marriage Sunday, July 2, 1837, stated: "He works upon it with the skill of a profound and exquisite artificer; and having framed and modeled out of it, after man’s own image, yet retaining its Divine similitude, but softened and refined, the grace of social life, He brings her to him, to be his bosom counselor and partner of his joys (for cares and sorrows he then had none), and knitting them together, pours out upon them precious benedictions; and ordains, with obvious respect to all future generations, that in every instance the strongest tie of nature, at the time existing, should be in great part dissolved, that the tie of matrimony might be adequately cemented; and that it should be of the very essence of the alliance thus contracted, that the parties should become “one flesh,” and, therefore, that our first mother’s marvelous formation should be in some sort influentially repeated, that this mutual tendency to cleave together might be produced."

Not only the churches but the civil authorities that have governed our nation have also held Marriage in the highest regard and importance. America's 2nd President John Adams writes: "The foundations of national morality must be laid in private Families. In vain are Schools, and Universities instituted, if loose Principles and licentious habits are impressed upon Children in their earliest years…. How is it possible that Children can have any just Sense of the sacred Obligations of Morality or Religion, if, from their earliest Infancy, they learn that their mothers live in habitual Infidelity to their fathers, and their fathers in as constant Infidelity to their Mothers."

In the American Experiment, our founders were wise in their understanding of the depravity of man. They understood that freedom if maintained, must have supports, religion being one of its greatest supports, another closely linked is Marriage. They understood a strong family unit would make a strong community, and strong communities would make for a strong society. A free self-governing society is not easily maintained and it is impossible to maintain without strong support. The passions of the depraved human nature must be restrained, that is done either by law and the threat of punishment, by social pressures and expectations, or by properly trained conscience. A society without restraints and complete freedom is anarchy.

Joseph Story, Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, articulated this understanding stating: "Marriage is an institution, which may properly be deemed to arise from the law of nature. It promotes the private comfort of both parties, and especially of the female sex. It tends to the procreation of the greatest number of healthy citizens, and to their proper maintenance and education. 

It secures the peace of society, by cutting off a great source of contention, by assigning to one man the exclusive right to one woman. It promotes the cause of sound morals, by cultivating domestic affections and virtues. It distributes the whole of society into families and creates a permanent union of interests and a mutual guardianship of the same. 

It binds children by indissoluble ties, and adds new securities to the good order of society, by connecting the happiness of the whole family with the good behavior of all. It furnishes additional motives for honest industry and economy in private life, and for a deeper love of the country of our birth."

Today people see marriage as a strictly private relationship, created by and for the individuals in the couple without any larger social or public purpose. Marriage is understood as a commitment to live up to the rigorous demands of love, to care for each other as best you humanly can. The purpose of Marriage today is mostly considered the exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other; the purposes of that commitment include love, mutual support, and a way of living that brings stability to our society. This understanding sounds reasonable, even romantic on its surface, however, its soul support and purpose rest upon the depraved human nature which is selfish and unreliable.

In co-habitation without the institution of Marriage, the passions of the human heart are released without its constraints. If Marriage is eventually entered into at some later point, its value and meaning have already been degraded. Its purpose and support were disregarded, and therefore the main strength and support of the family unit were greatly weakened. If it is deemed an unworkable relationship, many times Children have already been brought into the relationship and are now exposed to the effects of separated parents, mixed family units, and all the social ills that come with it.  

   

Might you not say, Marriages fail too, and when they fail, they fail with greater consequences? This writer understands that fully, I know the hurt of divorce and the challenges of a mixed family. Marriages do fail, people are sinful and we live in a fallen world. Nevertheless, to value and honor the institution of Marriage even with our weaknesses is the life of our society. 

Our nation felt Marriage so important, knowing the weakness of human nature, what is called "Common Law Marriage" agreements were instituted and recognized as an attempt to bring the benefits and support of Marriage into a broken society. Many states still recognize such agreements even today. These agreements are not to be confused with cohabitation, for the couples must agree to certain requirements that vary with each state. Such things as they must be committed to Marriage at some point in the future and the female must take on her spouse's name. This of course is not Marriage, but it is society's attempt to achieve some of the support of Marriage and apply it to the weaknesses in our communities. 

One must now ask, why are Marriage ceremonies and legal commitments so important? Because Pro 16:25  There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.      

The institution of marriage is important and its value rests upon the fact it is instituted by God. No man has the right to change its definition or its purpose. Its purpose is to model the relationship between Christ and his church and to Glorify God. 

When a young man or woman finds a person to whom they are attracted and mutual love and relationship develop, that emotion is very much a part of them seeking a union. However, the ultimate end and purpose for their union must be in their love for God and the desire to Glorify Him. When a young man or woman places their love and hope in God, they will not dishonor Him by dishonoring what He has instituted. Society may achieve some benefits through its common-law marriages, but they cannot honor God with them. It is by His grace and blessing upon our lives that we are able to secure our Marriages in love and devotion to Him first and then to each other.  

Yes, it behooves society to do what it can to strengthen our communities by whatever means it can to suppress our depravity. It behooves the Christian to love and obey God's commands and seek His glory and his purpose in our families. To profess to be Christian and to despise His ways is not reconcilable. Sexual commitments outside the confines of Marriage find themselves in the confines of sexual immorality. 

1Co 7:9  But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 

1Co 7:39  A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 

Heb 13:4  Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. 

Eph 5:3  But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 

1Co 6:18  Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

1Co 7:2  But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 

Gen 2:24  Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.